I need to stop coming to work sober
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
