i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
