Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
