oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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