My pussy is not your playground.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
