I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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