I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She's the barista slut.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
