We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize