Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
