i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
