Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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