When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
