my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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