New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
so much tequila, so little girl.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
