i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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