my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
