So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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