They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
