At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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