Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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