Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
