Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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