Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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