You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize