she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
