am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
