I am in a vortex of obligation.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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