how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
