what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Randomize
