I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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