I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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