someone get that fucking seahorse.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
