on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
