Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
