You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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