Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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