Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Randomize
