is your mom at the bar?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
