blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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