so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
