And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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