This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
