I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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