I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
