what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
