I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize