He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
