we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
