I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
