why im i the only drunk person in the library?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
