i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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