he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
