I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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