i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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