u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
