we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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