So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
