went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
