Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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