Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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