hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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