insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
